Took a quick trip up to Seattle - a 3ish hour drive. Saw some pals, which was nice and sat in a lot of traffic which was not nice.
We lived in Seattle for 8 years, and I always felt unsettled there. I always had some reason - I was in school; or we lived in apartments managed by either the nosiest woman on the planet or a crack dealer; or we were having a baby and I didnt know anyone else with babies; or we were the only renters in a block full of people who owned their houses; or we hadnt found the perfect Christian community to live in; or I was only working part-time; or I didnt live on my cool friend's Mayberry street, where the neighbors all know each other and actually are friends; or something. There was a just a something-is-not-right hum that always played softly under any other song I was singing.
Like E's asthma, that unsettled feeling has totally disappeared since we moved to Portland. I just know, with all my heart, that we are all in the right place and I dont have that bad hum of someone who's grokking a wrongness. It is remarkable. I thought maybe discontent was just a facet of my adult personality, but it turns our that it was only my personality as long as I was in the wrong place.
After 6 months of staring at a computer screen as a telecommuter, J had a great day back at the MIRE office yesterday, remembering what he enjoyed about the friends he had there. He heard more about the fancy new offices he's not going to get to move into and about a better job that could have been his if only.... So it's not a move without sacrifice. Tonight I'm so grateful that I share my life with a man who's willing, eager even, to let go of some his own dreams to build a new one together, even if it doesnt look anything like what we might have imagined.