Thanks for the kind comments and emails re yesterday's post. In a funny way, being sad was relief - much better than the night before when I was scurrying around trying to get (say it through clenched teeth) THIS HOUSE CLEANED UP and eating my weight in triscuits. After I had that revealing dream and woke up and cried a little, I said
"Oh, this is sadness. I can do this." So I felt it for a while and then it went away. It did not lift me up and carry me away, which is what I'm always worried will happen.
Our current video watching (now that Lost and BSG are in a lull) is a Stargate 1, which is (first season, here, so correct me if I'm wrong) just sort of cheesy Star Trek . 2 minutes in, you might have this conversation about any random episode: "What's this episode about?" "Oh, remember this one? It's the one where they go to the strange planet with the beautiful half nekkid women and they..." "Oh, yeah, that one." Dont get me wrong by the use of the word "cheesy" here, I really am enjoying it.
So tonight we watched this sort of unusual one, where the Jack ONeill double from The Planet of Emotionally Intelligent Crystals comes to earth and tries to heal Jack by sharing all Jack's pent up feelings of grief and guilt with his ex-wife. It's such a great fantasy, that someone else would have and express all the feelings that we would rather not have to deal with. But I know how much work it is to resolutely not have any bad feelings and on the whole I've found the energy it takes to not have them is much much much greater than the energy it takes just to have them.
Probably good not to be taking emotion lessons from SG1, I guess.