Incompetent? or Inconsiderate?

Occasionally, we like to do something that we wouldn't usually do, so tonight we went to see Carmona Flamenco which was just incredible. It was acoustic guitar and two dancers (all not exactly long in the tooth but definately pushing at least mid-40's and intensely energetic) and this like 19 year old guy who sat on something like a box and drummed on the side of it.

The effect of the music and the drumming and the dancing together was indescribable - passionate and sad and joyous and dangerous and sexy and so incredibly fast all at once. But there was sort of a fiasco with the sound, and since we were seated by the sound board, we had kind of a front row seat to the side show of the sound guys bumbling around and talking really really loud to each other about how that annoying buzz was definately a lighting issue and had nothing to do with them.

Jeff (who has spent his adult life in a wheelchair and thus seated fairly regularly next to the soundboard) actually diagnosed the problem, but obviously no one was asking OUR advice, so it took until the intermission for them to get up on the stage and fix it. When they came back, Jeff really kindly said, "Hey, guys, this isnt a rock concert, you know. You might want to keep it down back there. I mean, it sounds like something kind of serious going on, but it's probably a good idea to talk more quietly." All I kept saying was that it was just RUDE of them to be so loud and Jeff was actually expecting them to know what to do about it.

So, in the meantime (it was a long intermission) we were also talking about how people were taking flash photos during the concert. I mean, who DOES that? I kept saying, again, that it was just so rude. You know, it's distracting to the audience and to the intensely concentrating artists. "And besides," this is Jeff again, "it's just stupid. If you take a flash picture, all you get is a few feet anyway, so all you're going to see is the head of the person in front of you."

All of which reminded me of something I've known before but which gets thrown into relief sometimes - which is that I'm always expecting people to be considerate, Jeff's always expecting people to be competent. And we're both astonished when they are not. No wonder both of us walk around in this state of perpetual amazement! Is this a pretty usual men-are-from-mars-women-are-well-you-know thing?