dialogue (or is it really a monologue if you talk to yourself in your own blog?)

Memo
To: Juniper
From: Blog
Subject: Abandonment issues

Hey. Where the heck have you been? I've been waiting for weeks for some writing here!


Memo
To: Blog
From: Juniper
Subject: Lame excuses

Well, since we finished watching Lost (really, a full time job all by itself) I HAVE been rather busy with a big visit from our Korean sister church , I've reading all the other blogs especially Christine's and hapamama's cool new ones and I even got to be at the hospital when baby Junebug was born. Other stuff is happening, too. Like, for a while we all had little colds, I've been trying to get a better score than Sue at Marble Drop (so far, I'm only at 1400, but look out! I'm creeping up a little every day! not that I'm competetive or anything, because I'm not at all), I walked 7-miles in support of progressive Christianity, celebrated our boy's 4th birthday, counted those steps (288), read a couple of trashy novels, and of course regular work and wife and mom stuff. I have not been knitting.
Also, I mildly freaked out when I learned that people. actually. read. this. blog. I've been trying to decide how to handle it. I think I will write them a note. (Note to people I know in real life: it's not always so much melodrama around here - it's just that's what interesting to write about and also, one hopes, to read. If you want to know about the mundane stuff, you may feel free to call me.)

Memo
To: Juniper
From: Blog
Subject: Stern reminder

You're right, those are pathetic excuses. Remember how you said that one time you really wanted to write at least every other day? Well, get back to business lady.

Also, didn't you steal this idea about writing as if in the voice of your blog from Janell, who did it much better some while back?


Memo
To: Blog
From: Juniper
Subject: Saved by cuteness

Yes, I did steal this idea, but I didn't remember that until I was already too far into this to turn back. Thanks for the idea Janell. And remember, imitation is the sincerest form of whatever.

Since I will ever strive for both diligence and excellence, especially here in the blogosphere where those qualities totally matter, I will now present to you this short play in two acts, drawn from a real life situation. I call it

SAME PLANET, DIFFERENT WORLDS

The scene: We are driving in the car and the kids are talking about something, but I'm not paying attention until I hear:

Goddaughter: Juniper! Eli says he wants to have the baby in HIS tummy, but I want the baby in MY tummy!
J: Well, that sounds like fun pretend. Why dont you both pretend to have babies in your tummies?
G: Ok, Eli, you can PRETEND to have the baby in your tummy, but when we grow up and get married, you will give me the seed and I will have the baby in my tummy for REAL, ok? I really want to get married to you! Will you get married to me?
E: (snorting) You crack me up.

The scene: It is one hour later and we are back in the car again:

G: Elijah, what do you want to be when you grow up?
E (clearly exasperated with this whole conversation): Ok, here's the deal. I'LL give you the seed, and YOU can have the baby in your tummy, how does that sound?
G: I want to be a hair stylist.