The Top 100 Things I'll Do If I Ever Become an Evil Overlord
Really, it's the cumulative effect of a thing like this that makes it worthwhile, but in case you want a peek, a few favorites are:
#5 The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
#24 I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
#35 I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
#86 I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
In a related note, I'm preaching on Sunday, which I hardly ever do. And I'm trying to study today (on a Monday!) which I also hardly ever do, so that I don't have to get gravy on my notes later in the week. Maybe it's too much reading of and reading about this week's lectionary texts that have put me in a weirdly giggly, apocolyptic mood. Probably it's time for a walk or something.